Holiday Wish-list & Three Yuletide Jamz

This week I’d just like to put together my portion of what I hope to be a more extensive list of wishes that the crew can assemble for the holiday season.  I’d like to wish for the following 5 things:

1. A Curren$y / Devin the Dude / Snoop / Freddie Gibbs Collabo Track.  If you put these motherfuckers together in a cheeba filled studio with a Ski beat, a bag filled with delicious fried vittles and some inspirational Girls Gone Wild Videos and/or actual Girls Gone Wild, they’re more or less guaranteed to crank out a masterpiece worthy of mention in the blunt smoking pantheon of wetness alongside “No Woman No Cry” and “Uncle John’s Band” (my pantheon of weed wetness probably isn’t the same as yours, but you understand what I mean).

2. A Hype Williams/David Simon Feature Length Film Worthy of Comparison with Belly and/or The Wire.  When I was 16 Belly was my favorite movie, and BET’s Rap City the Basement with Big Tigg was my favorite TV show.  Even though I can’t say the same these days, I still maintain that Belly’s opening scene is one of the most powerful I have ever come across, and without Big Tigg and his “mom’s” basement, Rap City is nothing more than a mere shell of what it once was. Jones and Simon are more than capable of weaving together a biopic, fictional or otherwise, that could become as essential to the rap community as Scarface or New Jack City.

3. A Live Neil Young Album that Is as Mind-blowing as Live Rust or Live at Massey Hall.  He’s got to have at least one more in him.  It’s not like he’s got nothing to write about: there’s a war in Afghanistan, all of the State Department’s viscera are strewn about the internet, and we’re in a recession with no clear end in sight.  Weave me another epic like “Ohio” or “Southern Man” Neil, and I’ll actually go so far as to buy the album and pay extravagant amounts of money to see you live in concert. 

4. Husky Basketball in the Final Four.  It would take a little bit of the sting away the loss of the Supersonics, and restore a little god-damn pride to a city that has been mired in sports purgatory for far too long.  We need a championship title that doesn’t belong to a women’s basketball team.  I’m sorry, but I just can’t bring my self to give a shit about the WNBA. 

5. A Palin Family Bestiality and/or Incestual Sex Scandal (think moose, caribou or first cousin) that permanently mars their image with fanatical right wingers nationwide and implicates all of the highest ranking members of the Tea Party syndicate in the filming of said film in a bukkake scene with an underage Eastern European Hooker during the credits.

OK, maybe that’s too much do ask.

For your Jams of the Season I’ve got something special on tap:  3 cuts.  Count ‘em: uno dos, tres, two of which are holiday themed, and the third is a jam I have been stuck on for some time.

1) The Temptations: “Silent Night”. 

If Santa gets busy after his long night of present dropping, he and Mrs. Claus get down to this afterwards.  Yikes, that’s some unpleasant mental imagery.

2) James Brown: “Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto”

From my favorite Christmas album of all time: James Brown’s Funky Christmas.  You can’t help but imagine Santa in a cherry red ’64 Impala rolling an urban sprawl doling out PS3s, Jordans, honey baked hams and brand-new Huffys to a screaming, elated mass of kids.  The G.F.O.S. himself might even be riding shotgun, shouting in his patented unintelligible grunts and exclamations.

3) Cam’ron featuring Usher: “Feels Good”

Cam’ron’s first album Confessions of Fire is not to be missed, and the combination of Ursher and Giles makes for an unlikely but supremely satisfying party-jam-duo.