Why Superhero Movies Are Hit & Miss

Only Magneto could have kept Hopkins away from his computer for this long.

This summer has been devoid of surefire blockbusters at the box office, but we've been served the perfect case study for why superhero/comic movies are so hit and miss, that is the two cinematic tales of X-Men: The First Class and, about a month later, Captain America.

If you're like me, then when the trap gets hot in months six through eight you park your swass (swampy ass) right where it gets the most love, in the goddamn air conditioned movie theater. Now before you start calling me an elitist and say, "Hey man, what the fuck you fucking pompous asshole, I don't have $10 to throw down on a ticket, not to mention the popcorn that costs a fortune, plus a few shitty Twizzlers priced at about $8.50 each," my girlfriend has coupons that her mother gave me so I usually go for free.

Anyway, back to the point of this post: after the jump are the three reasons why this year's X-Men killed and the Captain was dead in the water by the end, all indicative of the larger superhero genre's success and failures.

1. It's Not About the Superhero

OK, that's not entirely true, but the argument here is that a good superhero movie cannot rest squarely on the shoulders of its title's namesake. Clearly X-Men does not have a storyline based around one character, but it did a superb job of evenly doling out camera time to Xavier (James McAvoy), Magneto (Michael Fassbender), and Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence). You genuinely cared about all three of them, good or bad. Their individual experiences drove the overall plot and it worked well. What helped even more was that all three of these actors did a phenomenal job. McAvoy - remember him from Wanted? - is really coming into his own and has a promising action career ahead of him. If the opening to X-Men reminded you of Inglorious Bastards it was more than just the WWII and Nazi-themed revenge, Fassbender had a small but significant role in that as well. Lawrence launched onto the scene last year in the critically acclaimed film Winter's Bone and her performance in X-Men keeps her success rolling. Look, the point is you need more than one pretty face to carry a show, which is what Captain America tried to do with Chris Evans. Even though he looked etched out of plastic coming out of the steroid machine, Evans couldn't sway the audience onto the edge of their seats in scene after scene without any backup. What disappointed me the most was that Hayley Atwell, playing the Captain's love interest Peggy, was a perfectly scalding hot and usable centerpiece to parade the big dog around. Throughout the movie I kept wanting to care about her, and about him getting with her. There was just nothing there, they weren't who we thought they were. We didn't even get a sex scene, instead settling for a fucking short-lived kiss AT THE VERY END OF THE MOVIE. Are you kidding me Marvel?

One last side note: the Dark Knight was a complete success while starring Christian Bale who spoke half the movie in a hideously strange and annoying voice AND switched the lineup mid-game with Maggie Gyllenhaal taking over for Katie Holmes. You know why it's still considered one of the best superhero movies ever? Because of the supporting acting performance done by Heath Ledger. Trust me, it's not just about the main dude. Oh yeah, Dark Knight also had one more thing that the others didn't - Christopher Nolan, which leads me to my second point...

2. The Director Is King

For the Captain, they brought on Joe Johnson who most recently directed Wolfman, one of my least favorite movies of 2010. While Johnson has had some success with hits such as Jumanji, he just doesn't bring the heat the way some of the other superhero directors have. It's about more than retelling a story that everyone already knows from the comics in a new way. Superhero movies have to actually create dissimilar environments and experiences than what the comic creators came up with years ago. This is why I really enjoyed the work of director Matthew Vaughn in X-Men so much. He's previously directed Kick Ass and Layer Cake, as well as helped to produce Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (one of my favorites growing up) and Snatch, so you know he's got some familiarity with fast, action-packed thrillers that don't drown out the importance of good dialogue. More so than with other genres, the big blockbuster superhero movies need to have a director that brings something different to the table, out of their own repertoire.

3. Darker is Better

The montages in Captain America just about made me want to get out my phone and start internetting; snooooooooooze fest. It mimicked the propaganda filled plot line and tried to lull its viewers into an amazed appreciation for the talents of our protagonist; but it fell flat, leaving the audience questioning the authenticity of the war reenactments and doubting how much we really needed/wanted him to succeed (a big no-no). In X-Men the line between good and evil started and remained blurry throughout with characters going back and forth. A superb parallel conflict of the ongoing, inner torment of Magneto punished by his need for revenge after experiencing such a violent childhood rounded out the story's darker appeal. In the Captain? Well, he was pretty small before he underwent the treatment, so that was pretty sad...not going to cut it.

Fin.

Bardcores

X-Men: The First Class - 90

Captain America: The First Avenger - 71